VSFS: Ass, Abs and Taylor Swift round 2!

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It’s been a whole year since I counted air kisses and the number of times I heard the word “wings” in an hour. I had no idea tonight was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but was obviously reminded by Instagram/ Facebook/ Twitter/ friends and the interwebs.

I was watching a great night of sports before all this started. Despite a solid effort, the Raps fell to Lebron James and the Cavs. I was then watching the Leaf’s game when I had to switch with a minute left because we almost missed the beginning. I had obviously forgotten about the start time to the show but my friend reminded me and so we tuned in, only a few seconds after the start.

I still don’t know their names- besides Lima and Brosio.

Oh, it’s in London. Is this VS trying to go international like the NFL? Cut to backstage. The models look to be in deep concentration backstage before their first walk. Very Intense.

Bob Seger soundtrack for the win. But really, they just showed Tower Bridge. I feel as if this isn’t the best fit.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show  gold wings

The gold wings are beautiful- at least they’re not starting off with weird shit, which they’ve been known to do.

Spotted- the first air kiss. Do we need to count these again?!

Well, Sui He LOOKS CRAZY. She looks like Soso from Orange is the New Black. Yeah, those type of eyes crazy.

Soso OINTB

“I wonder how many of these girls Leo has slept with”- Chanelle

Great question. Answer? More than one.

They play a Disclosure track. I guess to tie the whole English thing in, eh?

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The first scene: “Dream Girls” ft. T Swift

Do we all remember how Taylor tried to look sexy last year and looked like an idiot? Well, here comes round 2!

Well, this angel has puff balls as wings. Dyed pink puff balls. She definitely pissed someone off.

I like Taylor’s house coat. Floor length and pale pink with black lace. Yes, please.

I like this collection. You can actually see what is for sale.

Next Scene….

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show alessandra and adriana

They start talking about the prettiest angels of them all.

OMG. They made TWO Fantasy Bras this year one for Alessandra and one for Adriana. Because they’re BFF. Aw, VS. Aren’t you cute?

Ed Sheeran is playing- not exactly my thing (aka it doesn’t have a bassline), but I know a few of my friends will be tuning in just for this.

So that feathered jacket number- is that for sale? In black? No? kfine.

This is so boring. This song. These outfits. What happened to the sparkly gold shit? At least they distracted me from Taylor Swift’s pathetic excuse at a performance.

Oh my fav quote of the night:

Angel #3: “Nailing the end of the runway pose is like scoring a touchdown”

Well, I’m pretty sure you don’t get any fantasy points for “nailing your pose” and I’m also positive that no RB, WR or TE would celebrate with an air kiss. Just saying.

Scene #5 “University of Pink”

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande is in this scene and from the countless memes I know she gets clocked by some wings so I’m really hoping they show that. Wow, can she ever sing! Also, is that the Zac Efron’s side kick in High School Musical in the back left?  I recognize that sassy pose

My favourite part about this section are the LED lights on the stage.  I don’t think that’s what VS wants to hear but something tells me they don’t care.

“Taylor Swift probably feels real stupid”- Chanelle.

I agree with Chanelle. After hearing Ariana belt out a medley of her songs I assume TSwift is crying backstage; probably into her batch of homemade cookies she made for the models which obviously haven’t been touched.

And they don’t show Ariana getting hit in the head. Bullshit.

WE KNOW IT HAPPENED, VS!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show  - ariana grande meme face

I’ve almost completely tuned out at this point. My mind races back to the refs putting the Raps in foul trouble early in the fourth, how Irving is taking no prisoners these days, and how Derozen’s presense is really being missed

Taylor Swift is back on stage. I can’t say “No, Taylor” enough.

It’s almost done I repeatedly tell myself until It’s almost 11 o’clock and sure enough the last runway takes place with none other than TSwift and some lacy black numbers.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show  taylor swift

Followed by a “Class of 2014” picture obviously.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show  full cast

Even in a picture full of blonde haired-blue eyed darlings, Taylor Swift still seems a little… off. Right?

 

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